2009...2010

With Christmas only one week away and 2010 speeding fast behind it...as with tradition (or just habit), now is the time for “2009 in Review”. We have seen the worst recession I have known in my 35 years in this form. We have all been affected directly or indirectly by unemployment, foreclosures and political backlash and false accusations.

We all know the details of the worlds’ ups and downs of 2009. I feel it is in all of our best interest to begin discussing more of what has happened that has been positive in 2009. First and foremost, we made it through this year! I felt like I have finally stopped going in circles in my “2009 maze” and am finally able to see another path opening up for me. For those that know, I purchased a home in 2008 so 2009 has been a financial roller coaster for me. No matter how small I thought the repair would be, the end cost was always higher. The kids are still growing and eating like horses and the income although stayed the same seemed to continue to decrease! It does help to know that I am not alone in this and I hope that by discussing it we can find that we are not in a fixed maze. No matter how many times we seem to go in that same circle and never notice another path, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there, maybe we just weren’t ready to see it. I know that I wasn’t. Summer came and the harvest was good and the kids were happy and I was happy and all of a sudden it seemed to stop and a reality hit me that I could never have imagined. We weren’t happy and things weren’t good. We, like so many, were getting by.

That realization is what has caused me to take a break and re-evaluate what I and my kids need! The fact of the matter is that they will only be this age and do what they are doing ONCE, and I don’t plan to miss it because I am too busy going to a job that is not fulfilling or trying to live up to some standard that I didn’t set. Now in no way does this mean that I am crazy enough to just quit my job, but it does mean that it is time to start living the life I have dreamed of and focus on those things that are most important not only to me and my family but to my community. The time that I would love to spend with kids, teaching (not in a school environment, but teaching just as well), the creative energy I would love to stop suppressing in the middle of the day, and the time I anticipate spending in my back yard in the garden with my kids and their friends and families…ok let me get back to my point I could go on forever!

The point is that though this has been a tough year, it has shown me a strength I didn’t know I had. A willingness to step away from the “normal” day to day work, kids, house…routine of a lifestyle that I used to think would be my life. I have never felt that the 9-5 monotony of the corporate world was for me, but I ended up there because the money was pretty good and it allowed for those weekends off and quite a few holidays. Somehow I needed something else. I needed to do what I am on this earth to do. To be an active mom, positive role model, mentor, activist, artist, etc. Now this doesn’t mean abandoning all of my current lifestyle, but it does mean a drastic adjustment is required. I wake up in the morning now knowing that I am on the right path. Finally I feel that I can be all of these things without giving up me! I feel that though there will be hard times, I have the understanding that this is life…hard times will come, but they are so minimal in comparison to the good times. You know if it wasn’t for my hard times, I wouldn’t stay focused. It wasn’t until those hard times that came this year that I started to evaluate my life and work and the life I wanted and knew was possible for me and my family.

So while some people are waiting for this year to be over (trust me I am one), it is important that 2010 is started with a focus and plan in the works now. Next year will be an open opportunity for all those looking to improve their life/situation. It doesn’t matter what it is, all that matters is that you took time to think about what it will/should be and you don’t wait! This is not a “resolution” those are easily broken. This is a life adjustment and it only works with a plan, determination and action. Oh yeah, the most important part of this is to know who you are right now. You will change throughout your life, but you can’t make a plan to do what you enjoy if you don’t even know what that is. Well this is like part one with lots more to come. I will be starting another blog soon to keep this one just about my business(s) and the other one about stuff, so look out for it. It’s on my list!